you know that feeling of emptiness you get when you're missing something?

Yeah, I've got one at the moment.

So let me introduce myself; I am Calli. I am not special. I am the all singing, all dancing crap of the world. Or is that just a quote from fight club? Oh well. Actually, I believe that we are all special because we are all different; unique in some small way (or big way). We are special because God made us that way. Obviously I am Christian. I'm actually Catholic (but I'm a hippie). I'm very engrossed in my faith, more inwardly than outwardly though. I am not, however, "one of those people" who think that gay people go to hell. You cannot convince me that my God would condemn somebody for loving a person. If you take out all the complications, all the ifs and buts, that's all it is. Somebody loving another person. Regardless of gender. Gender sometimes disguises us... Let's see if I can explain. Think about your best friend. If they were the opposite gender of you, would you like them? Would you go out with them? Possibly fall in love with them? I bet you would. But why don't you? Because it has been planted in your head that it is wrong. Me, I'm straight. But I think gays are very brave. And you cannot make me believe that my God would send them to hell just for falling in love. No matter what the Bible says (I know, blasphemy right? forgive me, please).
But I digress.
I live in a small town in the suburbs of a small city. I love people, yet I hate them at the same time. I listen to what I like to call alternative rock. What does that mean? I'm not sure. I like different things. I think you never really know a person until you look through their ipod, so here's just a sample of some of the artists I have: All Time Low, Anberlin, Hey Monday, We The Kings, Every Avenue, Michael Jackson, Bon Jovi, The Summer Set, Artist vs Poet, The Friday Night Boys, My Chemical Romance, The Bigger Lights. And that's just off the top of my head. I love music. Without it, I'm not sure where I would be. I like to write, but I write random things that aren't very good and don't always make sense. I also like to rant and listen to other people rant. Ranting sessions are good. I think I'm talking about myself a little too much.
But that empty feeling? It's coming from many things, many unknown sources. But the thing that sent it over the top was the loss of my swim team. I've been a member of this pool for as long as I can remember, and eight years ago I began swimming on its swim team. All those years were so amazing, packed with so many memories, some good, some bad. That place was like a second home to me. No matter how much I hated going to practice, I miss it now. Our pool closed. And now I'm swimming at a different pool, and it's just not the same. I know it's not that big of a deal, but it was more than just a swim team to me. I could actually cry about it.
Today was our last day of school, so summer has begun. And as summer begins, so does my blog. I did that on purpose. Hopefully I'll continue this into the year though. Everybody always says that their summer was the best summer ever, but if you look back, the summers all seem dull and boring. I know all of mine are painfully average. I hope that this one is different, but with my swim team gone, I fear it will be just as disappointing as all the rest. I want to have one of those summers that you hear about, where every day is amazing and the nights are filled with fun and laughter and friends. I want to spend a month or two at the beach. I want to meet a boy and go for long walks by the ocean with him and fall in love only for the summer. Oh and bonfires too. One of those summers.
I think I've written enough, although I feel as though I've barely written anything. I think I'm forgetting something... Something important. Oh well, I'll remember it later and hit myself in the head for it. One last thing I want to talk about a little is the title of my blog. I wasn't sure at first why I named it Musings From Under The Sea. But as soon as I typed it in, I knew it was the right name. It just felt right. So then I thought about why. Well I guess I am under a sea of some sort. What sort of sea? Well it could be a sea of anything and everything. Today I suppose its the Sea of Emptiness and Mystery. We're all at the bottom of our own seas. But we're not alone. We just need to look around and take comfort in each other. Just think about all I've said today.

From the Sea of Emptiness and Mystery,
Calli