won't you please please help me?

I'm seriously bored out of my mind right now. I haven't hung out with anybody in a week. I haven't left the house to do anything besides go to swim practice in days. I waste my life away in front of this computer.

Now don't get me wrong, I love tumblr. But I want to go out and do something. Whenever I try to make plans, people are always doing something else. Nobody seems to want to hang out. People are always busy, and dates seem to get pushed back until they end up never happening.

I hate how whiney and complaining I sound right now.

Sometimes I dream big. I imagine myself getting out of this small town and making it in the world. Making a difference. But then sometimes I wonder, what's the use? What can I do?

And sometimes I really wish I had some honest-to-goodness talent. Something that I'm really good at. But half the time I'm too scared to even try.

But even then, I can't help but wanting more. Not more as in material objects. More from this life. More than just this mundane existance.

I want to party hard. Stay up all night with my friends. Run through the streets screaming at the top of my lungs. Something.

It's just so hard to believe in myself. I feel like such a poser sometimes. A second-rate version of everybody I've ever met.

But there are some people who do believe in me. And they're great people too. They believe I can do anything I set my mind to. And sometimes have to wonder... If they believe I can, why shouldn't I?

I just don't know where to start...